Mute

Why can't I tell you
Just how much you mean to me
How I want to share this world
and hold your hand
Know it's okay to say you're MY MAN
No I can't tell you
That your constantly on my mind
And how I hope, I wish, I pray
for the opportune time
When we will be one
But this I can never say
That I want to open & close my eyes to you
I want to love you for all of our days
Quench your thirst, scratch your back
Learn you inside out
Increase your worth
Comfort you
Break news to You first
I want to be lifetime lovers & friends
Want a relationship that with time
Extends
into a family
Want us to be together
Happily
But this I can never say

Ode to Kendra

I have five nieces and one nephew and I love them all dearly. Now I know that you are not supposed to have favorites but I do- my 9 y.o. niece Kendra.
You see Kendra was taken away from my sister who battled mental illness, and was raised by the Hale House until she was 2. Her loving and unrelenting grandma (my mother) fought to get custody and eventually Kendra came to live with us. Kendra is super smart, talented, kind and an overall good kid. But she is lacking one thing- a Father. Kendra doesn't know who her dad is and neither does my sister for that matter. She has many father figures, a grandpa & 3 uncles. But I try my best to show her more attention to help fill the void. Aunty B can't replace her father but I can make her to know that his absence doesn't make her any less special or loved.                                                  
(Kendra age 5, second from the left, with friends)


Budding Ballerina
New tights and a form fitting leotard are useless
without her magic silver-lined tutu
Puffs of tulle encircle her waist
as she poses timidly

Without her magic silver-lined tutu
she will not perform
As she poses timidly
I tell her she makes the tutu special

She will not perform unless
she knows she is the magic
I tell her she makes the tutu special
Her doubting eyes smile

She knows she is the magic
Puffs of tulle encircle her waist
Her doubting eyes smile
New tights and a form fitting leotard are useless

High On a Shelf

He was my Present
I accepted his past
Coming from opposite planes
We couldn't avoid the crash.

Me- the Optimist
Always leading with my heart,
Sensed some damage
But thought his edginess was sharp

He- the sad boy
Turned conflicted man,
Floating on resentment
In a pool of unresolved feelings

A father who fled
His son he never knew
A mother who hit
From frustration she grew
Tired
of the child
that resembled
the man
who left them.

He wanted to love
wanted to care
But a heart this vulnerable
Would not dare
Expose itself.

Instead it remained
High
On a shelf
Out of my reach
And everyone else

I tried to endure
his love tug-of-war
the anger---the distance---
Too much to ignore

So we left,
my heart and me.